Here lately I am finding myself thinking a lot about change. I don’t think I am alone when I say I don’t like change; as it may stir up uncomfortable feelings. Benjamin Franklin is given credit for saying, “Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” He seems to allude to change as well—if “nothing can be said to be certain,” then change is certain.
A new season of change began for me a little over two years ago with the death of my mother. She was my biggest cheerleader and my caretaker and I miss her tremendously every day—everything changed. Just living without her was/is a huge change. My career changed as well.
After teaching Social Studies for several years, I taught Reading/Language Arts one year before retiring (another change). And my husband and I just downsized—selling our home of 25 years to move into something smaller. This led to a yard sale—letting go of items and the expectations that went along with those items; letting go of a home—feeling like I was letting go of my sons all over again because the best thing about the home was them. This could be another reason why I don’t like change, because it means letting go.
When I let go, what is there to hold on to?
This certainly isn’t the only season of change in my life. Watching my sons grow to adults, leave the nest, marry and have children. Changing careers multiple times in the last 40 years, a teacher for 17 of those years. Marrying, moving, divorcing, moving, single parenting, marrying, moving . . . change, change, change.
Lots of letting go, lets of grieving, lots of disagreeable, joyful, intolerable, awkward, happy, elated . . . feelings. Change is neither bad nor good, it just is.
Through all those changes, letting goes and roller coaster emotions, the only constant for me has been God, through it all, only God. Taxes, perhaps; death, yes; but God—always my Permanence, always my Comfort.