December 2019 Archives


This and That

This and That

This and that . . .

. . . I was once told by a beloved that my stretch marks were ugly. This remark, most likely spoken out of pain and anger, did hurt at the time. Yet, after living with these beautiful scars for some 30 plus years now, I find them to be a remarkable reminder of the privilege and honor given to me in birthing three engaging and winsome souls into this world.

. . . I do not make New Year’s resolutions, since no tomorrow is ever promised to us; we only have today, the ever present Now. Yet, I recognize that there are those for whom this rite of passage has distinct significance. While journaling, part of my early morning routine, I wrote the following (without thought to correct grammar or punctuation):

As the new year approaches, I’m thinking about resolutions I’d make; qualities that I want my life to shine in, with and through—
–gratitude—I don’t want to complain anymore. I want to be settled in and live through gratefulness.
–not being angry—peaceful—no matter what comes my way, I desire my approach to be peace and calm—yes, anger may be justified (righteous indignation), yet at peace as the struggle flows through me.
–joyful—overall to be joyful, not happy because happiness depends on our circumstance, but joyful. Joyful encapsulates both gratitude and peace, I think.

. . . and that was my experience.

. . . A beloved with whom I volunteer at the food pantry, asked about my Thanksgiving. I said it went well and I listed the food I had prepared, the dessert being a Peach Pie. “Peach Pie? You continue to be a revolutionary.” He had read my homepage on this site. This is not the first time I have been recognized as a rebel. In fact, Rebel, is a nickname given to me by another treasured person in my life . . . and so it is.

. . . Much like Mister Rogers, I have a list of people—friends, family, and acquaintances—that I pray for every day by name. Only God knows their true circumstances, so I pray for Him to “bless them.” I read somewhere that when we use the term “God bless you,” what we are really saying is “May God’s good plans for you come to pass.” To those of you who took the time to read this, God bless you!

. . . At choir practice last night, I felt a sense of relief. I did not know at that moment for what I was relieved until a dear one explained that her brother’s divorce was finally finalized (apparently it had been quite a contentious and lengthy ordeal up to that point) and he felt deeply relieved with the equanimity of the final encounter. His was a name on my prayer list. Thank you, Mister Rogers, for reminding us of our unity and interdependent Oneness.

. . . “Ryder’s Grandma! I love you.” I do not know if there is a more pure and sacred moment then when a child hugs you in sweet loving innocence—that was my experience today after reading aloud to my grandson’s Kindergarten class.

. . . Not all moments of time have been as special as those above . . . like the self-checkout at Martins–that dang machine kept telling me to do what I was already doing. Oy! Or the dude that pulled out in traffic blocking all three lanes so that the lane I was in could not turn right until the light turned green and then sat there on his phone. He got an earful—probably just as well that he did not hear me.

. . . A verse from Isaiah seems to unify these bits of piecemeal together . . . Chapter 30 verse 21 . . .

With your ears you will hear a word from behind you:
“This is the way; stay on it,
whether you go to the right or the left.”

. . . Or perhaps, this . . .

“Subtlety is a beautiful journey of the dissolving away of “objective” existence… The importance of this journey and of the growing awareness of subtlety is not in the ever more subtle qualities themselves so much as in what is beginning to appear to itself, as beliefs that what is True is other than itself become fainter and fainter and our attention upon our beliefs becomes less and less demanding…”

May all the nuances of your journey carry you forward in Grace and Peace.